Being James Bond isn't as easy as it seems

Ever had one of those days where you just want to cuddle, want the world to disappear as someone whispers soothingly that everything will be alright?

That's how I'm feeling.

Strangely enough, up to a few hours ago i was in a good mood, giving my friend advice to help her ( because you know, thats what advice generally does). I didn't know that in a few hours later, our roles would be nearly reversed. She's smiling and now I've turned to my long time friends. Sorry to all of you out there. The winners are, yes my depressing songs. I know some of you must be disappointed. Please don't cry.

Yet I jsut realised, even though I'm feeling quite sad and all that, I still can't translate my emotions onto paper. Well sort of paper; use your imagination. Come to think of it, maybe I still use a mask? I can hardly ever write genuine feelings onto paper. Great. Now I'm a masked person whenever I try expose myself to people. If only now i were someone like Zorro. Superman..no wait he didn't have a mask.

As an attempt to writng genuinely I shall say this. You know how people cna connect in different ways and express themselves using differen mediums? I really admire artists because I can't paint anything, and even writers for the reasons i mentioned earlier. So this blog is useless if you want to be wowed. (if you to be wowed look for naomi's..its amazing). I find consolation in music. Even a particular note makes me feel better. Not even dancing helps sometimes. Music. Depressing music has a way of making me feel better. Like the artist was passing through the same experiences in order to have come up with something so beautiful.

So I can write absolute nonsense in every post. But generally it's the raw truth. My thoughts at exactly the moment I'm writing them. I don't even look back to what I have written.

And now I'm feeling slightly better. It was silly to get all sad about some silly comment. So mission accomplished. Sort of. Ok. Work in Progress. I'm sure us Maltese know all about that.

I'm Bond. James Bond.

Of time, summer and rushes :)

It's quite sad. No really.

The more time I have on my hands, the more I waste. When I was stressing out due to the stressful situations caused by exams, I found time to write something. Two short posts, but I blogged nevertheless. I can safely say that in the 3 weeks that I've been at home lazying about I haven't even thought of blogging. I can always think of some excuse such as, 'I've been babysitting!' or something more on the lines of 'I was going to the beach everyday!'. And the plus side is that this is actually true. But just like when I was wondering how on earth I'm going to manage to remember anything for systems, I still found time to blog (more as a result of procrastination than anything else), then I should also find time to write something small when I have practically nothing to do.

Yes, I just realised I've been going round and round in circles saying aboslutely nothing new.

My first blog for the summer. I've been dying to write that sentence (after of course I realised I need to stop being lazy and start using my head again before it rots doing absolutely nothing). I've been looking forward to summer ever since school began (give or take a few weeks). So obviously my expectations are kind of high. Maybe I'm expecting some earth-shattering cosmic event that will make my eyes bulge out and make me go wow. Ok. Not that bad. Leave the eyes bulging out part. No one would like to look like a toad. I guess I'm looking forward to the memories I want to have of this summer, so I'm hoping something will happen. This got me thinking. Nothing is going to happen unless you work for it, or you do something about it. So it's absolutely useless waiting for the fig to fall into your mouth (I'm guilty of leteral translation from Maltese to English). If you want memories, you have to make them. Memories are not pretty pictures or oscar-winning short films that your head makes up. No they are experiences that you have to pass through, so you have to make something happen. I apologise profusely if I mixed you up.
Anyway I was also thinking. This summer I want it to be memorable in its own way. I want to look back in winter and say, "Wow. That was a really good summer." I don't want to even thinking of the words, "Mm yeah. It was ok." No. That is unacceptable. So I started listing all the things I want to do this summer. A kind of bucket list if you like. Except hopefully I'm not dying. I decided that for this summer I want to feel a rush. Natural highs so to speak. And also have fun with my friends =). Oh my that sounds lame. But it's true.

Sad don't you think how some words lost their meaning because they are used excessively?
It's quite sad. No really.