Ever had one of those days where you just want to cuddle, want the world to disappear as someone whispers soothingly that everything will be alright?
That's how I'm feeling.
Strangely enough, up to a few hours ago i was in a good mood, giving my friend advice to help her ( because you know, thats what advice generally does). I didn't know that in a few hours later, our roles would be nearly reversed. She's smiling and now I've turned to my long time friends. Sorry to all of you out there. The winners are, yes my depressing songs. I know some of you must be disappointed. Please don't cry.
Yet I jsut realised, even though I'm feeling quite sad and all that, I still can't translate my emotions onto paper. Well sort of paper; use your imagination. Come to think of it, maybe I still use a mask? I can hardly ever write genuine feelings onto paper. Great. Now I'm a masked person whenever I try expose myself to people. If only now i were someone like Zorro. Superman..no wait he didn't have a mask.
As an attempt to writng genuinely I shall say this. You know how people cna connect in different ways and express themselves using differen mediums? I really admire artists because I can't paint anything, and even writers for the reasons i mentioned earlier. So this blog is useless if you want to be wowed. (if you to be wowed look for naomi's..its amazing). I find consolation in music. Even a particular note makes me feel better. Not even dancing helps sometimes. Music. Depressing music has a way of making me feel better. Like the artist was passing through the same experiences in order to have come up with something so beautiful.
So I can write absolute nonsense in every post. But generally it's the raw truth. My thoughts at exactly the moment I'm writing them. I don't even look back to what I have written.
And now I'm feeling slightly better. It was silly to get all sad about some silly comment. So mission accomplished. Sort of. Ok. Work in Progress. I'm sure us Maltese know all about that.
I'm Bond. James Bond.
Ajma clara, you're so right..lol its the same wid me...like you i have my music and i also have grey's haha!! I too find it hard to express my feelings on paper but i think all we need is practise!!!
ReplyDeleteactually cla i think this post is honest and true :) and you always manage to put some sense of humour in your writings, so i think thats a talent you've got there!!
ReplyDeletein my blog, i dont like saying exactly what im feeling.. i like using symbols and imagery, and metaphors :) i dont think its a mask if you dont say exactly whats bothering you or anything, but if you write what youve written here, its more than enough.. and i think the most important thing in writing is to express yourself and feel better after [but not always, but its good cause u express yourself u know, without leaving it in?] and youve managed to do that! :) dont worry what the readers might think..
music is beautiful i agree, cause sometimes words cant explain our feelings, but notes can.. it shows ur an aritist ta cla! :)
xxxx
take care ^^
hey cla
ReplyDeletemusic's a universal language, as is art, so the fact that it expands on our feelings makes sense :)
and sometimes it's helpful to take refuge in non-human friends...so why not songs? helps you feel you're not alone, right? :)