Tick, tock, tick, tock.

It is with great regret that i realise that i only have roughly 5 weeks left to enjoy this gorgeous summer weather and all the perks it brings with it. This summer flew by. Not just this summer; i still remember orientation day and applying for Junior College; the hard work that brought the new scholastic year; Christmas, New Year, you Can fit in my birthday here, Easter, and exams. There, the main events of the year and i can practically remember every little detail.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

From the very moment we're born, our life becomes an hourglass turned upside down, with an unknown number of grains of sand. With every passing moment, more grains of sand trickle down to the bottom. And you cannot calculate how many more moments you might have; you cannot calculate how much grains of sand you have left.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

If you get caught up in this life, your life becomes nothing but a race against time, literally. Which is why we might stop for a moment and realise that we just watched our life pass by without even participating in it. And to confuse you even more I'm going to give an example of what I mean: you're by the roadside and you realise that a car is coming but it just passes you by. That car is your life. It must really suck if you realise this; which is why sometimes we must pause take a deep breathe, check our surroundings then bury our noses back into work.

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Just last week I had one of those deep breathes, and boy what a deep breathe it was! It lasted about a week. It goes by the name of Soul Survivor. It helped me realise most of all that life isn't a race against time but a challenge we must face and win only with the help of Jesus Christ. It helped me realise God's love for me, and how He'd never leave me alone. It helped me find my missing best friend, Jesus, and for that I am thankful. I feel like I was a car with no petrol trying to go on, and after Soul Survivor I was re-fueled and I took the petrol tank with me. Now how great is that??

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Now I feel like that I can take any challenges that come my way..though I am probably feeling this because I'm not thinking of the problems I have to deal with. But I know that Jesus will be with me and that alone brightens my day. I am ready for the grains of sand to continue falling now since I know that it doesn't matter how much time I have left, but it's what I do with it, and I want to worship God as much as I can because His love has freed me.

What are you going to do with the time you have left?

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Being James Bond isn't as easy as it seems

Ever had one of those days where you just want to cuddle, want the world to disappear as someone whispers soothingly that everything will be alright?

That's how I'm feeling.

Strangely enough, up to a few hours ago i was in a good mood, giving my friend advice to help her ( because you know, thats what advice generally does). I didn't know that in a few hours later, our roles would be nearly reversed. She's smiling and now I've turned to my long time friends. Sorry to all of you out there. The winners are, yes my depressing songs. I know some of you must be disappointed. Please don't cry.

Yet I jsut realised, even though I'm feeling quite sad and all that, I still can't translate my emotions onto paper. Well sort of paper; use your imagination. Come to think of it, maybe I still use a mask? I can hardly ever write genuine feelings onto paper. Great. Now I'm a masked person whenever I try expose myself to people. If only now i were someone like Zorro. Superman..no wait he didn't have a mask.

As an attempt to writng genuinely I shall say this. You know how people cna connect in different ways and express themselves using differen mediums? I really admire artists because I can't paint anything, and even writers for the reasons i mentioned earlier. So this blog is useless if you want to be wowed. (if you to be wowed look for naomi's..its amazing). I find consolation in music. Even a particular note makes me feel better. Not even dancing helps sometimes. Music. Depressing music has a way of making me feel better. Like the artist was passing through the same experiences in order to have come up with something so beautiful.

So I can write absolute nonsense in every post. But generally it's the raw truth. My thoughts at exactly the moment I'm writing them. I don't even look back to what I have written.

And now I'm feeling slightly better. It was silly to get all sad about some silly comment. So mission accomplished. Sort of. Ok. Work in Progress. I'm sure us Maltese know all about that.

I'm Bond. James Bond.

Of time, summer and rushes :)

It's quite sad. No really.

The more time I have on my hands, the more I waste. When I was stressing out due to the stressful situations caused by exams, I found time to write something. Two short posts, but I blogged nevertheless. I can safely say that in the 3 weeks that I've been at home lazying about I haven't even thought of blogging. I can always think of some excuse such as, 'I've been babysitting!' or something more on the lines of 'I was going to the beach everyday!'. And the plus side is that this is actually true. But just like when I was wondering how on earth I'm going to manage to remember anything for systems, I still found time to blog (more as a result of procrastination than anything else), then I should also find time to write something small when I have practically nothing to do.

Yes, I just realised I've been going round and round in circles saying aboslutely nothing new.

My first blog for the summer. I've been dying to write that sentence (after of course I realised I need to stop being lazy and start using my head again before it rots doing absolutely nothing). I've been looking forward to summer ever since school began (give or take a few weeks). So obviously my expectations are kind of high. Maybe I'm expecting some earth-shattering cosmic event that will make my eyes bulge out and make me go wow. Ok. Not that bad. Leave the eyes bulging out part. No one would like to look like a toad. I guess I'm looking forward to the memories I want to have of this summer, so I'm hoping something will happen. This got me thinking. Nothing is going to happen unless you work for it, or you do something about it. So it's absolutely useless waiting for the fig to fall into your mouth (I'm guilty of leteral translation from Maltese to English). If you want memories, you have to make them. Memories are not pretty pictures or oscar-winning short films that your head makes up. No they are experiences that you have to pass through, so you have to make something happen. I apologise profusely if I mixed you up.
Anyway I was also thinking. This summer I want it to be memorable in its own way. I want to look back in winter and say, "Wow. That was a really good summer." I don't want to even thinking of the words, "Mm yeah. It was ok." No. That is unacceptable. So I started listing all the things I want to do this summer. A kind of bucket list if you like. Except hopefully I'm not dying. I decided that for this summer I want to feel a rush. Natural highs so to speak. And also have fun with my friends =). Oh my that sounds lame. But it's true.

Sad don't you think how some words lost their meaning because they are used excessively?
It's quite sad. No really.

Of thinking, reflection and studying :)

As I'm preparing for my systems exam tomorrow, (cough cough..had something in my throat) I came across rights and democracy. According to my notes, and I'm not going to doubt them, democracy gives us a lifestyle which we are so used to nowadays we take so many things for granted; which is where my human rights notes began.
I think we really do take so many things for granted. I recieved this email, and it basically summed up all things we complain about and look at it positively. For example, (looks for email....ahaaa) be thankful for that sun shining directly in your eyes; it means you are alive. I don't know how many times I must have turned over, wishing I could sleep some more, probably right after I wish that my curtains were thicker so the sun won't get through.
Being alive is probably something a person would think of. Sometimes I am just amazed that I'm alive, especially when I hear of so many people dying around me, whether I know them or not. Sometimes I wonder if my hasty goodbye or my sarcastic comment will be the last memory of people of me. How sad.

Don't you ever get thinking, you're on a roll, you jump from one line of thought to another, and when you eventually share your final thought people think you've just lost it? I got thinking today

• Why does one day have 24 hours? Why couldn't one day have 25 hours?
• Isn't it just amazing how structures, paintings and sculptures have survived all those years, meaning they have survived earthquakes, rain, and other natural phenomenon; just so we can say, 'Oh my, we've got so much to learn in aesthetics'.
• We can't help but worry about the future. We might leave it all up to God, and it's good. But I still think that we can't help but get just a wee bit scared.

Strangely enough, this was not what I planned to bore you with in my new post. I was hearing some good christian music, and I just stopped trying to understand my systems notes and heard the lyrics. And they are so striking. Once you realise the full impact of them sometimes they send me reeling. Music is such a good way of getting a messgae across, especially nowadays. People, especially teenagers, are all the time listening to music. I, for one, feel like I can connect more with music and songs, then reading the Bible. Perhaps that's just me. And I still managed to talk about what I orignally planned to (congratulates self).

And now democracy calls.

What if...

What if i wasn't trying to study systems of knowledge for my exam in a few days? Then I

1. wouldn't be trying to procrastinate so much but probably doing something productive right now
2. in my complete boredom i probably wouldn't have wanted to try out a blog
3. and finally I probably wouldn't even be here

So, I am now introduced into the world of blogging. Please don't tear every post into little pieces, analyzing every word and trying to discover the meaning behind it. Contrary to what my blog title implies, probably none of my blogs will be all philosophical. Till now, I can see this as a place where I can just write down my thoughts. Nowadays they have no space in my head with all the (currently useless) information I am trying desperately to remember.

And I just read through what I wrote. Oh so formal to my dismay! Oh well.

And it's short and sweet...well, I hope it's sweet, its definitely short. xD